I’ve always been a romantic at heart.

Though I’m not a fan of cheesy stories, a solid display of love and sacrifice never fails to grab my undivided attention.

I was the little girl who dressed up as the princess in distress and planned Barbie and Ken’s wedding. Being the only daughter in the family, I was often the center of attention. Somehow along the years I got used to the idea that it’s all about me.

Yet there I was, barefoot in the fitting room of the bridal shop trying on my bridesmaid dress, gazing at the image reflecting back at me in the mirror.

It’s a gorgeous dress and I have no doubt the wedding will be the same. However, it’s not my wedding. The special event belongs to one of very best friends, Alison.

Sometimes you forget what you’re lacking until someone else is holding it. That’s the way I felt, as I zipped up my dress and listened to the giggles of the other bridesmaids standing outside the door.

I am very, very happy for Alison. However, there will always be the place in my heart that longs to wear white, to be the bride. To see the adoration held in someone’s eyes just for me.

Singleness doesn’t normally affect me. I tend to stay busy and have a fierce independence which creates difficulty in relationships. It’s entirely possible, just with the right person. The person I haven’t found.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of the fitting room to join the circle of friends wearing dresses of the same color and style as mine. There was something very special in that moment.

I looked behind the laughs and smiles of each of my friends. They too have hopes and dreams, but each of us recognized the significance of putting ourselves aside for the day.

We were there to be a part of a bigger picture, to reflect the beauty of the bride and support her in one of the biggest steps in her life. It wasn’t about us. A lot of things aren’t.

One of the most difficult lessons I am learning is when to focus on myself and when to serve others. There is a time and season for each, a fine balance to be obtained.

When Alison asked me to be her maid of honor, I knew. This is one of those seasons.

And so we’ll spend afternoons browsing through bridal magazines, gasping at floral arrangements or decorations that would add the perfect touch to her upcoming summer wedding. We’ll stay up late discussing the order of events and the life she will lead after marriage.

We’ll get stressed with the invitation list, frown at the budget, hum along as she picks the music and let the tears come while preparing the slide-show.

The approaching months will provide a roller coaster of emotions that we’ll ride together.

As for me, my desires still exist…they’re just on hold. Because when I look at my friend, the depth of her smile radiating from the joy within her, I don’t need to think about me. It’s enough to simply be the maid of honor.