By Ray Sarno
As a man grows older he starts complaining about the things he can no longer do. He needs to look at the bright side and appreciate the advantages he has acquired.
True, he cannot do some of the things he used to do, but neither will he get into the trouble for doing them. Every place he goes, he gets a senior discount. The discount helps soothe the reality of being classified as a senior.
Just look at the advantages you now have on the golf course. You can now go to the senior tees, or whatever less discriminatory name they may have given them.
And you no longer have to jump out of your shoes to get over that water hole. You are no longer hitting the ball all over creation by trying to kill it.
As we all know, much of the error in a golf swing occurs in the backswing. You are so stiff now that you cannot go back far enough to create an error.
Those young fellows you play with are spending small fortunes on clubs that are guaranteed to hit it a hundred yards further than the competition. They are developing hernias trying to drive every green.
You, in the meantime, are doing the “Tortoise and the Hare” routine and will be waiting for them at the green after they arrive from their trip into the jungle looking for their golf balls.
In the never-ending pursuit of finding answers to this game of golf, the relationship between sound and hitting the ball was pursued. A group of fine golfers was hitting balls on the range. They were all good golfers.
After a period of time they put cotton in their ears, and in a short time they were all performing badly.
The Titleist Pro V1 golf ball is the premier ball now on the market, mainly because of the sharp “crack” it makes when struck. It gives one a feeling of power, just like that kid on the motorcycle next to you at a stoplight. He keeps revving the motor, creating the feeling of power and takes off like a shot.
You may have experienced that same feeling when your muffler blows and before you have it fixed, you feel as if you were at Daytona.
Now as you have gotten older, you think you can no longer produce that explosive sound of a good drive. You can with just a simple twist to your hearing aid.
When you are in the locker room after a round, your conversation might have changed over the years. You no longer talk about the wild times you used to enjoy, but will center about other subjects, such as medications you are now taking.
One of the high points in my life as a senior pro, was the day I played in a pro-am. On my team were three members of a college golf team.
Even though I was a senior, the pro told me I had to play from the golf tees. I “bad mouthed” him for a while, but he said “gold.”
My team played from the blue tees. I pleaded with the pro to let me use the blue tees, but he just grinned and said, “You are a pro.”
By the time we reached the last hole I was worn out and was just going along letting them carry me.
The 18th hole had a long drive prize for both the blue and gold tees. At this point, survival was my main interest, and long drive never even entered my mind.
The hole had water all of the way on the left, so I aimed well to the right. My drive hit the cart path and stayed on it for what seemed like forever.
When it finally rolled off of the cart path, it was past everyone, both blue and gold tees. When I put my name on the little flag in the fairway, I wrote, “With a 3-wood.”
My golf ball looked as if it had been put through a meat grinder. It tickled the pro and he said, “That is why I told you to play the golds.”
When you were young, you walked and pulled a cart, or had your son or daughter caddie. Now that you have gotten older, you can get in a cart and ride.
When you go home you can turn on the Golf Channel and see everything that you had done wrong that day, or you can turn on a golf tournament and watch other golfers suffer.
SENIORS, YOU HAVE IT MADE.
